Fear is the mindkiller

(yes, I read sci-fi)

This is it. This is my year.

I've always felt fear, loneliness, never fitted in, been defensive, been negative, been too smart, not pretty enough, not likeable, too sarcastic, too sharp.

I can't do anything about how other people percieve me. I can do something about myself.

I'm not going to turn over a new leaf and suddenly become soft. That's not me and I made myself tremendously unhappy by trying to conform to someone else's image of how I should be (Protip: if your partner says you are emasculating them by making decisions, tell them that unless your decisions actually involve their gonads, you're not emasculating them. Also tell them that they're dumped and run far, FAR away) But I will try to stop being defensive. Before making a sharp remark, I'll think "Is this kind?"

I will stop letting fear prevent me from committing to movement. I am a force of nature and nothing can stop me except for me. And I won't let myself do that anymore.

Fear is the mindkiller.